and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
