There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
