dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
