Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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