the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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