please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
A+ Viking dick
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
