I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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