I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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