so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
