Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
