I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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