booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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