I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
