We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
