i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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