I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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