It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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