you traded sex for a burrito?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
