fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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