Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
