had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
