Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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