how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
