You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
