Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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