maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
