My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
