If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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