living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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