Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
