Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
no, he came in my armpit
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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