Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
