whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
they need to just BURY HIM!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
