he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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