I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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