I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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