Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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