I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
