I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
