is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
