We're facebook friends in real life
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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