im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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