it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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