You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
