I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
