I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
