Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
