she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
