Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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