OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
handjob tips. give me some.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
