So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
