yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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