I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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