his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
