But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
