I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
