It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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