Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize