also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
