actually, I'm a sock model
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
