we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
