I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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