I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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