I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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